Secrets
by Melodic
Summary: Sometimes secrets are so big, they aren't even uttered by the only two people who know the truth. The Bauer Family Jack/Marilyn
1. Memories Part 1

**The story begins at season 6 episode 9 whilst Jack is driving Marilyn to find Gredenko's house. **

Memories Part 1

They were sat in the car; he felt he could cut the tension with a knife, even more so after she had answered her phone. They was still an uncomfortable between them after all that time; which was making Jack feel like he shouldn't be there, or as if he were looking upon something private, even though it was just the two of them in the car.

She was looking out of the window staring at the houses they were passing. Jack tried to decipher the expression on her face, but all he could see was an half of her face, and that was etched with worry. He tried to concentrate instead on the road ahead, he looked into the rear-view mirror he could see the TAC team van following them. He was still surprised that Marilyn had never brought up the thing which always seemed like a white elephants in the room. He had never brought it up either. Neither one of them could say it. They never tried, they avoided it; at all costs. They had both just known.

His mind wandered back to how this had all first started. Graem and Marilyn had invited him, Teri, and Kim around for an evening meal. He and Graem never were close, and never got along well, but Graem got along well with Teri; mind you there wasn't many people Teri didn't get along well with. After Kim was born Graem and his Dad wanted them around more. Not particularly him, but _them_. He usually tried to back out of having to go to these 'meetings,' but he knew this one he needed to go to. He and Teri had started fighting recently. For a number of years now Jack hadn't gone on any long undercover missions, he'd been on a few short ones, but none that were going to take the length of the one he was planning for. He hadn't wanted to go on any long term missions because he wanted to spend his time with his young daughter, but she was 8 now and Jack felt more ready. She could handle it better and so could he. He wanted it, he almost felt like he needed it. Teri had gotten used to him being around more, coming home at a certain time, and being really close with her. She was struggling with Jack. The way he wasn't coming home at night, the way he was hardly at the house, the way Kim wanted to know where her Daddy was all the time, the way he said he would be home at a certain point and never showed or was drastically late. It was frustrating her to her limits; she was a patient woman, Jack knew, he also knew it would take her time to get into such a mumbled routine. Teri argued that he was distant from her and he never wanted to talk about anything with her. He just couldn't seem to fix it and it wasn't just blowing over like he thought it would. It was beginning to frustrate him, his wasn't an easy job by anybodies standards and he didn't need this on top of it all.

Teri had accepted the invite from Graem and Marilyn, and started telling Jack it would be a fun time, a family time, just what they all needed. That was until Jack hadn't thought to call Teri from CTU to tell her he wouldn't be home for lunch that Friday. Instead he interviewed a new employee, Nina, over a quick sandwich. He came home later to a stormy Teri, who wasn't fueling her anger at him because she was helping Kim get into her new dress and shoes. He could tell though it was brimming underneath the surface.

They drove to his brother's house in silence trying not to let the frustration brim over into their voice or faces, all except for Kim who was practicing singing a song she had to learn for school.

The night had been pretty uneventful, realistically bordering on boring. Jack knew though as soon as he got home that Teri would start into another argument. He couldn't take it again, yes it was his fault, but he wanted her to cool off a bit first. So he formed a plan to get out of it in his head. They sat on the couches having coffee in the large airy living room overlooking the sea. Kim was snuggled up against Teri, her eyes barely open.

"I think someone needs to go to bed," Teri said with a slight chuckle as she looked lovingly at her child. "Thank you so much for a lovely evening, it's been so nice," she beamed a smile to Marilyn.

"It's our pleasure," Marilyn replied sweetly. "Isn't Kim just adorable!" Everyone smiled looking at the sleeping little girl as Teri began to move carefully lifting Kim's head. She didn't see Jack's hand in his pocket setting of his pager. Everyone's head flew up to the trill little noise; Jack quickly jumped up and turned the sound off checking Kim was still asleep.

He spoke quietly his head pointing at Marilyn, "Do you mind if I use your phone?"

"Of course not Jack, you know where it is," she said with the airy smile only she possessed. Jack went around the corner and pretended to call CTU on the phone, but instead he listened to his work messages. He stood there pretending to speak and be annoyed; well the annoyed part wasn't pretending George Mason had left an angry message on his phone, again.

Jack gave a big sigh, "I'm really sorry, but that was CTU, they need me in right away, something urgent has come up," he made sure a look of annoyance that he was being called in at that hour in this 'family time' was on his face.

"How about if I take you and Kim home, Teri? I've got to go past your neighborhood to get to the office anyway," Graem said picking up his car keys off of the side.

"You're going to the office, Graem? It's nearly midnight," Marilyn questioned shaking her head.

"I know, Marilyn, but, there's just some business that I need to give attention," he said in a slightly condescending and matter of fact tone. Jack noticed that Marilyn didn't look too dismayed but more relieved. Gream picked Kim up, gathering her in his arms and went to put her in the car.

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom?" Jack asked uncomfortably.

"Yea, sure, Jack, of course you can," said Marilyn her eyes flying from Gream to Jack. Jack gave her his awkward smile, his eyes flicking from the floor to her eyes and back.

Teri was getting irritated now, "Jack, I'm going now, seeya tomorrow … maybe," she added hesitantly. She was so cold and glazy to Jack it hurt him; he felt it like a hard punch in his stomach, and he could feel it in the deepest pits of his heart. He loved her, couldn't she see he was doing everything he could for them to make a good life for them. It was driving him crazy!

When Jack came back into the living room the coffee cups were gone and so were Gream, Teri, and Kim. In place of the coffee cups though was a chilled bottle of beer. Marilyn was sat on the edge of the couch fumbling with a bottle opener trying hopelessly to get the top off.

"Err, hey thank you for everything tonight, it was really nice of you," Jack said giving her a genuine smile, "I think I had better be going now."

She stood up putting the bottle and bottle opener down, "You sure you don't want to stay for a drink?" she asked raising her eyebrows playfully, but Jack saw the sliver of pleading coming through in her eyes.

"I've already had one thank you, and I need to be getting back to CTU," he said this but didn't move off the spot of carpet he was stood on.

"I mean a proper drink, Jack, not a coffee, and that about CTU, I could always tell when you were lying, Bauer," she said with a giggle then sobered somewhat. "I think Teri knew that you didn't need to go, but you just wanted to." The smiles went they stared intensely at each other. When the intensity lessened Jack carried on just staring at her blankly.

"I could use a drink," he paused, "but won't Gream be back soon?"

Marilyn smirked, "He won't be home till tomorrow after, he never is when there's 'business' to attend to at this hour. I don't know what he's doing, and I don't want to know to be honest," her eyes went down to the floor.

"Sorry," he mumbled gently, taking a seat on the couch next to her. He grabbed her bottle and the opener from the coffee table and opened her bottle for her placing the chilled beer back on the table. She looked up into his eyes and they both smiled. "Beers alright isn't it, last time I remember you drank it well," a sly giggle came out of her.

"Yeah well, that has to be a long time ago, but I still drink it, not quite as well though." She got up and grabbed a pack of bottles which were chilled and passed him one.

He smiled at her, "How long has it been?" he asked his eyes staring into the past.

"Around thirteen years," she didn't miss a beat.

"Thirteen years," he whispered taking a sip out of the bottle then cradled it in his hands. "You know I'm sorry for…" he started to say but Marilyn interrupted.

"Stop it, you don't need to say sorry for anything in the past, that's gone, what happened, happened, and that's it," her eyes assured him. She grabbed him and herself another bottle, she passed them to Jack to open. Bringing her feet underneath her she snuggled into the couch then continued. "Do you remember that time when we drove up to Vegas on your motorbike during Spring Break?"

Jack started to cringe whilst laughing slightly, but when she began to giggle he lost the cringe and found himself laughing harder than he had done in a long time. The memories and stories carried on over the rest of the beer she had in the pack.

Later on they were giggling about something, but Jack had absolutely no clue what it was. She was sat right next to him curled up on the couch facing him, her features lit up with delight. He then noticed she had a red dress on which hugged her body and matched her lipstick. She looked beautiful; she didn't look any different than she had all those years ago. Marilyn realized Jack had stopped laughing, so, so did she. They just looked into each other's eyes without the tiniest laughter on their faces. The tension was thickening by the moment, his breathing was becoming harder like a weight was on his lungs, he could feel it in the pit of his inner self. Jack pulled her slightly towards him and gently kissed her. Marilyn was no longer steady on her knees almost falling off of the couch, Jack quickly pulled her closer and then slowly closer and closer to him, holding her as he carried on to kiss her. As she kissed him back they forgot who they were now; instead they were who they used to be. They were 17 again, without a care in the world, without a wife or a husband, just each other.

**This story is going to be in 3 main chapters, but that could be a few parts. **

**I wasn't sure about this so I'd really love to hear what you think drop me a review it would really make my day :D**


	2. Memories Part 2

**This is the second part of the first chapter, hope you enjoy it :)**

Memories Part 2

The next thing he could remember he was laying on the living room floor. His head felt like it was banging and he felt a little nauseas, he was sure he had already thrown his dinner up from last night. Trying to move his body he realized he couldn't, there was a dead weight on top of him. He opened his eyes groggily surprised that he could feel sleep sticking on his eyelids. He opened them to see hair, then he realized he was looking at Marilyn who was sleeping peacefully on top of him. He blinked again; he was right at his first thought though he didn't think he was thinking straight, Marilyn didn't have any clothes on whatsoever, neither did he. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his pants strewn on his coffee table. He banged his head on the floor realizing what he had let happen. Catching his eye was the clock on the fireplace, he squinted his eyes to see the hands properly, it read 9am. At least he woke up at a reasonable time. How did he let himself do this?

He wrapped his right arm around Marilyn using his left arm to ease them up into a sitting position; they were trapped between the couch and the coffee table. His eyes fell on the empty bottles lying on the coffee table, he hadn't drank that much since well, since he could really remember.

His hand gently brushed away the hair that was on her face as he softly woke her. Marilyn looked dazed; her hand rubbed her sore temple.

"What?" she hoarsely whispered. "Jack!" she said almost jumping but Jack's grip on her was too strong. Jack watched her as she squinted, questioning her sight and her thoughts, until realization came to her face. Jack thought she was about to say something about the situation when she widened her eyes and her face dropped a tone lighter. "Jack, I'm going to be sick."

"Ok, it's ok," he said softly, easing them up and directing her to the bathroom. Jack gathered her hair back, holding her firmly on the floor till she had stopped heaving and relaxed more. "Feel better?" his lips had curved into a smile looking at what a mess they were in. She nodded looking like she was trying to form a proper sentence in her head.

"We shouldn't have done that, Jack. Should we?" her voice raised a pitch as she asked the question. Jack was aware of what answer she wanted to hear, but he also knew that she was fully aware of what answer he was going to get.

"No, we shouldn't have. You know I care for you Marilyn," he said giving her a soft smile, "but I have Teri and Kim," his face went serious as he said the next words with such meaning, "and I love them with all of my heart. I never want to do anything that will hurt them," his face was so earnest and truthful. He could see Marilyn understood and somewhat already knew.

"Don't worry Jack, I'll never speak of this to anyone, it would hurt Teri and Kim too much, and I do care for both of them. Gream would be very angry too," her eyes looked away with a sadness in them, looking far into the distance.

Jack sometimes wondered why she had ever married Gream. When he had come out of the army Sam, his dad's butler, had told him what had happened. Marilyn's parents where just as pushy as Jack's dad could be, but Marilyn wasn't quite as tough as Jack, she didn't have the strength to go against her parents will. She wanted to marry Jack, even though they had never gone near the subject, and her parents were satisfied with Jack. He was wealthy, was going to inherit a stable prosperous business, but when he went off in the army, her parents were not happy. They wanted Marilyn to get married soon to someone who was as well off as Jack or even better. Then the next thing Sam said he knew was that Philip and Marilyn's parents were pushing her and Gream together, and before long they were engaged. It wasn't an 'official' arranged marriage, but of what Jack heard it wasn't much different. They seemed to be happy at first, not ecstatic with each other, but happy none the less. Gream then got involved into to some new business ventures which meant he was hardly around, and when Marilyn wanted to have a baby and they didn't have one, things that were already heavily strained became more strained, almost too braking point. He then realized he was letting his mind wander as he heard Marilyn's voice.

"Jack, you should probably get going," she gave him another airy smile, but her face was becoming paler again.

"Are you sure your ok, Marilyn? You don't look so good," the tones in his voice were so caring it almost broke her.

"I'll be fine, could you just...err... help me upstairs please." Jack thought he had never seen her so vulnerable. Marilyn could always do it herself or look after herself, in Jacks view, but this was different. She was different. He didn't say anything to her but put his arm underneath hers and gently lifted her up. When they made it to the bedroom Jack gently placed her sitting up on the bed. He went into the on-suite bathroom opening the sink cupboard and grabbed a plastic bowl taking it in to the bedroom putting it next to the bed. Marilyn pointed to a dresser at the side of the room. He grabbed an expensive pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt, and then helped her put them on. They did this in silence not speaking a word. Marilyn got under the blanket; they looked at each other for a few moments saying things with their eyes they would never say aloud.

"Goodbye," she said her voice almost a whisper.

"Bye," he looked at her one last time giving her an awkward smile and turned away. He made his way breathing heavily and head spinning down the stairs. He blinked furiously; a part of him couldn't believe he had allowed himself to do this. He grabbed his strewn clothes out of the living room putting them on. He needed to make up with Teri; he loved her, he needed her. She understood him, not many people did. So, she was finding it hard to cope with him, it wasn't surprising, it was a big change for all of them. He knew he was going to find it hard being away from them for so long, but he would hide it, bury it deep within himself, he couldn't be weak. Teri was different, she couldn't do that, she could wear her heart on her sleeve. He was going to make amends; he needed to fix this before it was too late. Next thing on Jack Bauer's to do list was to visit a florist.

**Please let me know what you think and leave a review :)**

**Thanks for reading, make sure you have all your belongings before leaving **


	3. Secrets

**Ok it's been a while in coming, but here it is the next part of Secrets.**

**I don't own 24 which is widely known otherwise I'd be writing on the show not for a hobby.**

**Really hope you enjoy it :D**

Secrets

His hand was rushing towards her neck as his fingers wrapped around her tender skin. He wanted answers, he needed answers. He thought he knew what she had done, and now he was about to find out if he was right. Any thought of the secret they shared had to be put to the back of his mind, and it was.

He could feel himself yelling at her rather than hear it. He could feel her crumbling between his fingers rather than see it. Then she gave him the answer he needed. He finally realized when she was around all he could do was feel and now he understood why, why all of this was. He couldn't keep the secret at the back of his mind, he thought he could, but it was harder than he had ever imagined. He couldn't help but let his mind dwell on the secret whilst her words swirled round his head.

Jack had patched things up with Teri, for the now at least. It had been six weeks since they had been around to his brother's house. 6 weeks since Jack had woken up with Marilyn on top of him. Somewhat to his surprise his memory was void of what had happened, he wasn't sure if he should be but a part of him was glad that it was. He had taken Teri the biggest bouquet of flowers he had seen. He knew she was reading him like a book, he hadn't felt so guilty around her in his life, but he was aware that she was putting it down to the 'distance' between them. Now he was getting home from CTU on time and if he really couldn't he phoned her, it was getting better between them. Just like it used to be, just thinking about it he smiled, it was all good.

A date had been set for his undercover mission it was about two months from now he calculated. Yes, it was a long time, but this thing had to be meticulously planned and it was being. It wasn't his style to wait this long, but this mission was becoming a mulit-agency operation which was just one big headache for him. He was just glad he had people like Nina Myers and Richard Walsh. Nina was becoming someone he could actually trust in that place, he was glad she was a good agent, and a good one to have his back.

He was stood at the conference table in CTU with Nina, Richard, and a few bores from division namely Chappelle. He brought his head up to look at the clock it read 18:05, he felt like banging his head against the wall. He had promised Teri he would be at his father's, who he know realized betrayed him, at 5 O'clock for a family birthday party for him. Why did he do this? He quickly made apologises and ran out.

It was 18:30 before he got to his Father's party, as soon as he stepped in the door he could feel Teri's eyes burning into him. He turned to see them, they were softer than before like she understood he couldn't always make it, but he was trying. His lips gave her a weak smile, telling her he was sorry, telling her he loved her. His eyes scanned around the room, Kim was dancing around her Grandfather singing 'Happy Birthday,' Gream was reading some of the birthday cards on the mantel piece no doubt from fellow colleagues and employees of BXJ. Then he saw Marilyn, she was just about to stand up from the armchair she was sat in her eyes were fixed on his. He walked into the living room letting the subtle music surround him. His father's house was grand; plush carpets, deep reds, warm creams, and slick white furniture with gold detail surround the place. He never felt at home here, he was an outsider, someone who wasn't welcome, a stranger in his own father's house. He had been ever since he announced his move to the military, and in all truth of the matter he had never looked back.

Kim laid eyes on her father and came bouncing up too him grabbing him around the neck. He enveloped her in his big strong arms, he knew everyone's eyes would be on him with this show of affection from his little girl, but he could feel a set of eyes on him heavier that the rest. He opened his eyes which he had screwed up; they opened locking on the eyes of Marilyn Bauer. He released Kim who ran back to her Grandfather. He held the gaze of Marilyn just as intensely, no one else noticed as their eyes were set on a bouncy happy Kimberly.

"I was just about to get everyone a drink, would you mind helping me, Jack?" Marilyn asked her voice as breezy as ever, but her eyes as intense as he'd ever seen them. His eyes flicked quickly round the room, to see no one was even bothering with them.

Nodding his head he replied, "Sure," he managed a real smile trying to shake the heavy feeling she was sending his way.

As he walked into the kitchen he forced himself to lighten his own mood, he needed to be able to act normally on some level with her. He walked quickly up to the cabinet and brought the glasses that were stacked inside onto the counter top. On such a hot day surely they wouldn't be bothering with hot drinks at a party. He got caught up in his mind till her voice came and shattered his thoughts.

"Jack," the tone in her voice made him turn around instantly. Her tone was scared yet strong, desperation yet without neediness, and yet still quiet and soft. His fierce blue eyes met her soft brown eyes. "I'm pregnant."

His head started to spin, he was feeling dizzy surely he hadn't heard her correctly. His mind told him he did hear her correctly, he was Jack Bauer he never 'heard' things; he just had them thrown at him. Marilyn brought the pitcher of lemonade she had made previously and started to pour drinks into the glasses just like she hadn't said anything. All he could do was stand there dumbstruck.

After a few moments his voice came back to him, "Does Gream know?" Marilyn fully understood Jack didn't mean if she was pregnant.

"No," she sighed, "and he wouldn't as long as we're still together." She brought her eyes up off of the counter top and looked straight into Jack's eyes searching for any hint he would come back to her.

He knew what she wanted, but he wasn't prepared to do that, he loved Teri too much. He realized how weak his love sounded after what he had done with Marilyn, but it was true. No one else could understand they had been through so much together, they battled everyday together; against the world and between themselves, because they loved each other and that was all they were prepared to know.

He then saw her eyes change, so slightly most people wouldn't have seen it, but she understood. Marilyn wasn't about to try to ruin everything to get what she knew in her heart she would never have again.

"It's ok, you know I won't mention anything," she said with that breezy smile on her face. Then she grabbed the tray the drinks were loaded on and walked back into the living room.

Jack could hear her breezy voice making idle chitchat and an excuse for him not coming out for that he was glad. She was saying something about him having a stress related headache after work. She was right he was developing a stress related headache, but not over work. At least this was giving him a chance to take it in, it was crazy. He put his arms either side of the sink holding on breathing deep, glancing out of the window.

**Hope you did like it, shocker huh? Haha Please Review and bring the biggest smile on my face and a little dance around the room :D**


	4. Comfort

This is the last in the series :( I worked really hard on this to make it as perfect as I could hope you enjoy it :)

Comfort

He wrapped his strong arms around her in a lock stopping the rattling of her body from the sobs that were taking hold of her. He nestled his head into her hair as he began to whisper to her comforting thoughts. He'd never comforted her like this before because he had never needed to. The look on her face was a cross of panic-stricken and devastating loss, he realized she was concluding to the worst of what could happen and he couldn't let her do that. He told her Josh would be fine, they would get him back really soon; in other words he tried to tell her he was going to save Josh. He was going to save their son.

He wouldn't say it in those words though; this secret he had come to fully accept over this day and the years before, would never and could never cross his lips just as much as they couldn't cross hers. His mind started to work overtime thinking of the way he was going to save Josh, and how they were going to get out of this situation alive. As he came up with a plan he couldn't help but let his mind go back to the last time he had seen Marilyn, the day she had spent her time trying to console him, trying to comfort him.

It had been two weeks since Teri's death. Two weeks since what was, without a doubt, the worst day of his life. He felt like his life had ended, he had been acting like it too since his debriefing. He and Kim were a mess, they were hardly talking; instead he spent much of his time mooching around the house, drinking what he could find, and finally sitting there, his body racking with sobs with the utter pain inside of him from the love of his life being violently ripped away from him. The pain had then overtaken him, allowing himself to wander around mindlessly on auto-pilot as much as he could allow himself to do.

He hardly noticed the people that had come around to the house; Teri's sisters came around trying to comfort Jack and Kim. Jack felt as if they were subconsciously accusing him all the time they were there that it was his fault that Teri was dead. Kim was putting on a face for them, allowing herself to block them out, hiding her feelings. He watched her doing this; he had done it himself many times before. Sadly for her she was like him in too many ways. Tony had been around the house a few times, it had been uncomfortable at first, but then they came to a level where they just sat comfortably in silence with the odd chat about something aimless. Jack appreciated what Tony was trying to do, but he didn't talk to him, like everything else he blocked it out.

They had decided to hold the funeral at a large, old church just outside of Los Angles. Teri had loved to visit that church; she said she felt at peace when she was in there. She often went up to visit the seemingly always open church just to think. She had taken Jack with her a few times; he had to admit he could sense the peace she was talking about when he went in there. Its high ceilings made it sound as if it should be cold, but the large stained glass windows, which scaled the walls, were filled with beautiful, warm patterns giving a sense of being at home. He had decided this was the perfect place to hold the service, hopefully they would all feel the peace she had always felt there.

On the day of Teri's funeral he didn't want to go, he just lay there on the couch wishing no one would make him move, until he heard a sob come from Kim's room. He knew he had to move, if not for anything else but for Kim. He wanted to go to honour Teri, to honour everything in her life, how she had made his life better than he could have ever imagined. But then the thought of having to see their families just made him want to lie on the couch and wallow in his sorrow.

He forced himself to go to the funeral, to carry Teri's casket, to fight through the tears, to stand at Kim's side and to hug her tightly. He managed to go to the reception afterwards. He stood their repelling people away with his withering look, it didn't quite work as well as he would have liked. People kept coming up to him sympathetic faces in tow. Family, friends, and even the people from CTU, just came up to him asking him, 'How you doing, Jack?' 'How's Kim coping?' 'We've been thinking about you. We just feel terrible about what happened to Teri she was just such a beautiful person.' 'If you need anything, Jack, and I mean anything just give us a call.' Everyone was saying the same thing; he just listened to them putting on a face of understanding, a sad smile.

He'd had enough of the people asking him the same questions, he'd listened to too many and just wanted to go home and wallow in his own pain. He couldn't though, it wouldn't be what Teri would want him to do; it wasn't the best thing for his daughter either if her Dad went missing at her own Mother's funeral.

Then he felt a set of piercing eyes burning into him, he thought strait away that he must be mistaken, but there she was when he spun around. She was sat on a chair in the church hall with a sleeveless black dress on. Her hair was shorter than he had seen it for a long time; the black bob made her look just as morbid as he felt. It surprised him; she was the only person who had looked at him today without a horrible sympathetic smile pasted across their face.

They stayed like that for a while, no one noticing, as they just looked into each other's eyes. They could always communicate that way; it seemed to work better for them than talking. He felt all the emotions inside of him somehow flow over to her and a sense of comfort flew back at him from her. The pull inside of him was too strong, he couldn't stand still any longer, he walked slowly over to her not letting his gaze drop.

He stood in front of her allowing himself to feel all the pain he had when he was wallowing on his couch. She quickly stood up and wrapped her arms around him, holding him. She moved her right fingertips in a soothing circle around his back and her left arm tightly held him. He hardly responded, he stood there, cold, fighting back the tears. She wondered if he was uncomfortable with her holding him until suddenly he grabbed her back, holding onto her like he couldn't bear to let her go. She could feel the pain like it was a physical thing surrounding him.

After a few minutes Jack managed to bring himself back together, he had allowed a few tears to slip as the pain had overwhelmed him; he furiously blinked his eyes trying to get rid of any moisture left in his tear ducts. Opening his eyes looking toward the floor he realized Josh had been sitting at Marilyn's feet playing with some toy trucks. He had short blonde hair just like Jack had when he was Josh's age, and was perfectly happy ignoring what was going on around him as he concentrated on two yellow and red digger trucks. Jack had never noticed how much Josh looked like him before; Gream had always been the darker of the two, possessing more of their father's genetics than their mother's lighter genetics compared to Jack.

Jack released his grip on Marilyn and she in turn quickly let him go. She turned around softly and followed Jack's gaze onto Josh.

"He looks like his father," she said softly almost like a whisper.

Jack let out a small mm in agreement not able to take his eyes off of Josh. He saw his daughter out of the corner of his eye coming towards them; he still didn't change his gaze though. Kim went up to Marilyn and gave her a hug; they murmured some words sadly too each other. Jack didn't listen to what they were saying he couldn't concentrate enough, but he could tell Kim was holding up well. Kim, like her father, could put emotions aside and put on that face, the face that told everyone she was fine whilst the matter of it was completely the opposite.

Kim came back into his vision as she lowered herself onto the floor next to the little boy. She smiled at him; it was the first genuine smile Jack had seen her give since Teri's death. As she talked to him, Josh started to giggle and passed her one of the trucks. A sudden sense of contentment swept over him for that one moment as he watched his two children on the floor smiling at each other playing with innocent toys, in no danger whatsoever.

He sensed someone coming up behind them, the sense of contentment shattered as Gream's voice came into his thoughts, stealing any feeling he had felt of comfort from him. Gream's voice was always cheery making Jack feel sick that his voice could still be like that at Teri's funeral. Gream said something in his horrible cheery tone which went over Jack's head as he was choosing not to concentrate on his voice. Gream bent down and picked Josh up putting the boy on his hip wrapping one arm around his waist. Jack looked at him with a blank face knowing he couldn't say anything, then he caught Marilyn's eye. She looked reluctant to go with Gream, she stood still in front of Jack allowing everything she was thinking to show in her eyes. Jack wished he didn't have to let her go, wished she might be able to stay, just sit with him for awhile longer, but he knew she couldn't do it, he knew he couldn't do it either. He looked quickly toward the ground and back up to her twice then swallowed, allowing the tension that was flowing to subside for a moment. He moved his head up and down almost unnoticeably, she looked away to the floor and walked off following Gream and Josh. He watched them walk away knowing he wouldn't see them again for a long time.

Not moving a muscle he allowed the pain to start to wash over him again in waves. Kim stood up and wrapped her father's arm around her shoulders, burying her face into the crease between Jack's arm and side as she allowed the sobs inside of her to escape. Jack didn't move his gaze off the exit as he tightened his hold on Kim. Some secrets were too much for anyone to ever know, some were best kept forever, even through the pain it caused he knew it was best to keep quiet and he would do for as long as it took. He started to walk forward bringing Kim gently forward with him, going outside into the overwhelming L.A. heat, watching the bright red sun move slowly down behind the steeple of the church.

**Please take a minute and review I'd really like to hear what you think.**

I enjoyed writing this hope you've enjoyed reading it :)


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